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Reading this…
Chalk up my second tongue-clucking parent meeting of the year. A mother wanted to know why her student was failing. Quite simple really: he didn’t turn in any homework, or produce any homework when I checked it at the students’ desks, as I am known to often do. He is also totally distracted by the crowd he hangs out with, as I was filled in by his previous teacher that he aspires to be a hard-core gangster rapper. You should see this kid’s MySpace page - Yeesh!
When speaking of my frustrations about this meeting with my wife, I was having trouble coming up with the words to describe the disposition of the mother. The attitude of the mother might be described as one of seething, yet repressed hostility towards me. Another that comes to mind would be silent contempt. She was cold, emotionless, talked barely above a whisper the entire time, and looked at me like I was some kind of insect.
…from Buckhorn Road: Another parental encounter, I can’t help thinking how much he seems to despise not only his student, but the parent as well. Many of us have had this kind of parent conference, but is airing your true feelings on a blog a wise idea? Sure, no one knows who you are or who they are, but what if someone figures it out?
In Ms. Whatsit: Luck Now here is a different take on a similar situation. Rather than resort to name calling, Ms. Whatsit looks at what she can change. Granted she’s starting off with a “good” kid, but look at Buckhorn Road, the kid had done all his work, he just didn’t turn it in. Why? would be my first question.
Maybe we learn something else from Ms. Whatsit, and that is the differences in some people’s true feelings. Some people are forgiving, and understanding. I’ll let you come to your own conclusions about what the other type are like.
5 responses so far ↓
1
Ms. Whatsit
// Nov 27, 2007 at 9:38 pm
Alice– You are kind. Actually, I cringe a bit when I think about that post, if only because it could be easily construed in a less positive light…
“Attitude” is a great way to think about it. There is a thin, thin line between being honest about events and ……. well, spewing. Therein lies the difference between a reflection and a rant.
I have all kinds of ideas about the “transparency” debate bouncing around in my head. For the most part, they tend to confuse me. One idea that I keep coming back to is “for what purpose” should educators blog? To me, it’s a matter of engagement and how we ought to embrace the experience as learners. If we deny ourselves the privledge of reflection and occasional fun, then our interest will definitely wane. Is that what we would hope for our students? I mean, we model reading for pleasure in hopes that our students will read for pleasure. Why not go there with blogging too? To deny ourselves the pleasure of blogging, even if it is highly social, doesn’t make sense to me.
I also wonder, wonder how many of of the voices for “responsible edu-blogging” out there are still classroom teachers. I think it’s important for those alpha voices to make an honest effort to keep in touch with those of us in the trenches.
One of these days when I’m not so dang exhausted I will blog about it. Or maybe I’ll just keep my ideas confined to comments. Who knows?
2
Ms. Whatsit
// Nov 27, 2007 at 9:40 pm
Thanks!
3
Chanman
// Dec 5, 2007 at 12:26 am
Thank you for linking my post, although I disagree with your analysis of it. I got the feeling that you were reading what you wanted to read rather than what the post really said.
I do not despise either the student or the parent. However, I do despise the situation they created and in which they stuck me.
It’s very easy to be the “yes” teacher (or parent for that matter) and tsk-tsk and poo-poo anyone who actually sticks to his guns and doesn’t lower his standards for certain people. It’s very easy to posture and preen with moral indignation at an uncompromising teacher like myself. However, since that ugly meeting, the student has raised his grade from 29% to a current grade of 75%. Far from “despising” him (to use your word), I cared enough to not let him slide, show him a little tough love, and got him to raise his grade with hard work instead of a handout. You would rather get the vapors about how shabbily I supposedly view the student and his mother.
Also, in recommending the post from Mrs. Whatsit, you appear to claim that I engaged in name-calling. After re-reading my post, I’m not sure where you saw me call anyone names. However, after reading Mrs. Whatsit’s post that you recommended, I see that *she* engaged in name-calling. She referred to the parent as a “hot potato parent”. Instead of asserting that Mrs. Whatsit “despises” this hot potato parent, you recommend her post as an example of how to properly reflect on a negative encounter with a parent. What’s wrong with that picture?
You appear to be rather selective with your outrage.
4
Chanman
// Dec 5, 2007 at 12:29 am
My apologies for the double comment. The first one never showed up in your comments, so I assumed it didn’t “take”. I rewrote it from memory, and as soon as I hit the submit button, both comments showed up.
Stick with my second effort - it is more comprehensive anyway, and it has the added bonus of my mentioning of Mrs. Whatsit’s post.
Happy blogging!
I hope I got the right one up, drop a line if it’s not. - Ms. Mercer
5
alicemercer
// Dec 10, 2007 at 7:50 pm
No problem about letting you respond. I criticized, the least I can do is give you a response. You seem to be under the impression that I’m criticizing you for standing your ground. That you are perfectly entitled to do as a teacher in your classroom. I’m concerned about how you are talking about your student’s dreams of rap stardom, and My Space page, BUT, let’s agree to disagree about this, and I will simply point back to a link in an earlier post on this topic (transparency), where I noted:
In Around the Corner v2 - MGuhlin.net - Unforgiven Transparency Miguel brings up the point that even if you are transparent, you still may be misunderstood.
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