This line comes from the values statement at my congregation, and it got me thinking about whether I was really living up to that goal. This post is the result of some of that reflection and will included references to my religion in a way that I hope is not annoying or offensive.  As they say, your mileage may vary.

It started with a tweet that contained this observation:

RT @pepepacha: Many teacher blogs are rants against stdt behaviors or families or systems. Let’s veer towards the positive & self reflective

Which you can see, I thought enough about to do a Re-tweet. This is what I was thinking when I did that. While I’m happy to blog against the system, I do like to offer at least a sliver of a solution, but what I really don’t like is wenching about students and parents on my blog, and don’t read blogs that make a regular practice of doing that. But really, am I that perfect? Isn’t that a little holier-than-thou? Are you that perfect? I know I’m not. I probably even have a few snide comments buried in blog posts or comments out there. Which brings me to Sunday.

We value the goodness in every person…
…even when it may not be apparent

The minister decided to do a play with the statement to “elaborate” on its meaning, adding that second line and boy did that one hit home.  I’m not perfect, I have feet of clay. In general, I don’t complain about families and kids on this blog. My focus is on improving myself, and improving the system of education, complaining about my students will not make that happen. I’m sure you can find some instances where I’ve done that in this blog, but it’s not the bread and butter of what I write about. However, in the lunchroom, and between parent meetings, I have made pointed comments about students and families. I can be petty. Here’s an example of a recent IM chat with Larry Ferlazzo:

ME: What is it with mom’s coming in with decolletage down to there?
Larry: I don’t know? (or some vague response)
ME: Maybe it was her only good outfit? Although I’d rather see ratty sweats. But ya know, she was very concerned about son, and asking for help, etc.

Okay, let’s look at that, I was MORE worried about how much skin this mother was showing, and ignored that she showed up to the meeting, was asking for help, and was willing to help us to the best of her abilities. Talk about focusing on the petty and unimportant. Truly, it was a small moment for me. I was not paying attention to what was apparent. What about with families when their “goodness” is not apparent?

On the other hand, when I’m talking to co-workers they have a context about the families, and me. Also, some of this is probably a healthy response to frustration, and it’s not like that is all I do, or the end of my involvement in the situation. I need to make sure that my frustration is not getting in the way of doing what needs to be done.

Another minister has introduced this meditation practice at our congregation, that can be well suited to my attention challenged mind that has some application here. The idea with meditation is to clear the mind, and he advises that when an errant thought enters (“hey, what’s that fly doing?”, “wonder if I turned on the dishwasher?”) rather than quashing it, you allow it to be there in your mind, and just let it wear out its welcome, and leave of it’s own accord. You don’t try to prevent those unwanted thoughts from coming in, but instead given them time to find their way back out. I was doing that in a way with that IM conversation, it started out with my rather petty observation, but then my thoughts returned to what really mattered, how much that mother cared.

So my goals will be to focus on the kids, and the families, and to look for the goodness in all of them. If my thoughts are less than generous, to make sure that’s not my focus, and give myself, and my families, the time we all need to do the right thing.